


up to the moon, you make me so lovely

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 09:12:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18133814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “jisoo,” the older says. his throat felt so closed off earlier with that drink, but now his mouth feels like a waterfall of his own thoughts. “I like someone.”“do you now,” jisoo says.or jeonghan drunkenly confesses his love and everything goes south.





	up to the moon, you make me so lovely

Jisoo always has his book bag swung over one shoulder when he shows up at Jeonghan’s door, his blue tumbler of coffee or tea in his left hand and his phone in the other hand. He has a few pins in the front of his bag, and Jeonghan’s favorite is the little pin with a galaxy with stars and moons and planets that doesn’t quite stand out from all the other pins with loud colors and big English words that he can’t pronounce. His tumbler has this annoying sticker too; it’s a big sunflower that has some cheesy quote printed along the yellow petals that Jisoo translated once. The meaning is somewhere in the back of his head.

Sometimes, Jisoo looks different when he comes into his apartment, like today. Maybe he did something with his hair, Jeonghan thinks, or it’s that new baby blue sweater that Jeonghan gave him for his birthday that looks a size too big.

But he looks _good_ , he’s the type of good-looking that Jeonghan can’t help but admire, it’s impossible not to.

When Jeonghan looks at Jisoo for a few seconds too long, he feels his stomach coil and uncoil with this familiar mix of giddiness and dread inching its way down his spine.

“Is there something on my face?” Jisoo asks, and Jeonghan likes the way Jisoo’s eyebrows furrow in curiosity for a split second before he’s racking his brain for another excuse.

“Sorry, was drifting off,” Jeonghan replies easily. He thinks he’s used that one a lot of times before, judging by the way Jisoo stays quiet. Jeonghan’s breath picks up as he tries to come up with a follow up.

“You do that a lot,” he says after what feels like an eternity to Jeonghan (even though it was probably five seconds). “If you don’t want me to be here, you can just say so.” He sounds half sarcastic, but he looks at Jeonghan with a serious face. 

“No!” Jeonghan’s stomach drops after hearing his own voice being a little too loud. A little too eager. “I was just daydreaming.”

The younger nods, but he looks unconvinced and Jeonghan’s heartbeat picks up. Still, he brings his gaze back down to his textbook. Earlier, they decided to do their studying in Jeonghan’s room because his living room has the worst heating circulation; Jeonghan tries to keep his mind off the fact that _Hong Jisoo_ is in his room, on his bed, that their elbows brush every time the younger flips a page or highlights a letter. He tries not to think about the stupid too-big baby blue sweater that hangs off Jisoo’s shoulder perfectly to show his collarbones and how the sweater reaches past Jisoo’s hands so his hands are _so cutely_ covered as he places his palm down to steady his textbook.

Jeonghan’s heart is thumping loud enough for Jisoo’s friends in Los Angeles to hear now.

So they sit in silence--excluding the ridiculous, ever-expanding fourteen hour lo-fi and R&B playlist created by Jisoo playing at a low volume--for hours, or minutes, Jeonghan can’t keep track of time or focus on any of his schoolwork in front of him with his pulse thumping in his ears and with every nerve in his body on fire. A chime coming from Jisoo’s phone interrupts the quiet.

“The guys are having a party tonight,” Jisoo says, his fingers doing a dance above his phone before he types up a quick message. “You coming?”

“Are you?” Jeonghan replies--slower this time, because he doesn’t want to seem like he’s desperate or hopeful.

Jisoo nods while he hums along to the beat playing. “Of course.”

When he starts singing the lyrics, though, Jeonghan’s heart clenches. He feels like throwing up, and he hasn’t decided whether he wants to word vomit or physically vomit (probably both). The longer he stares at the younger as he sings, the stronger that tight pressure against his chest gets. He wants to envelope Jisoo in the tightest hug, he wants to be the one that Jisoo plays those cheesy songs on his guitar to.

Having a crush on Hong Jisoo is suffocating, Jeonghan decides.

He wants to say that he wants to be Jisoo’s everything. He says, “I guess I’ll be there.”

“You make it sound like a chore, but you wouldn’t be far off,” Jisoo says with a small smile. He’s tapping his pen against the notebook now, in time with the song. “I don’t even like the alcohol, I feel like I only show up to these parties to make sure none of them drive their car off a cliff or something.”

“Like babysitting,” Jeonghan notes, and he smiles too, eye crinkles and all, because he can’t not be happy when Jisoo smiles. “I don’t know why you don’t like getting drunk, it feels like I’m on a cloud and everything’s made of _fluffy stuff_.”

“Tispy, I’ll allow,” Jisoo replies, rolling his eyes. “There’s something about nursing a wine bottle for the entire night that just sounds so much more fun than making stupid decisions while being basically half conscious.”

“What a buzzkill,” Jeonghan replies with a chuckle, and he gets a shove on his shoulder. 

“Say another word and you won’t have a ride home,” Jisoo says, glaring at the older with serial killer eyes, but Jeonghan only scoffs because he knows he would be incapable of that.

“You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself knowing you left a helpless drunk Jeonghan alone somewhere!”

“One of the other boys would drive you home,” Jisoo retorts, sending another reply to their group chat. Jeonghan can see the spams of messages from where he’s sitting, and he silently applauds himself for muting that group chat a long time ago; he can only handle about two minutes of twelve rowdy college students before he gets a headache and exits out the message app.

“As if they wouldn’t be wasted out their minds,” the older replies. “I don’t want to wake up with blond hair again, please don’t forget to drive me home.”

That makes Jisoo laugh really hard, so that makes Jeonghan laugh too. It’s that laugh where Jisoo puts the back of his hand in front of his mouth to cover it, when the corner of his eyes crinkle and his nose scrunches up a little. His beautiful laugh fills the room and his ears and Jeonghan _can’t breathe_ because Jisoo is here in his room and he’s amazing and perfect and he never wants him to leave.

“That blond hair looked perfect on you!” Jisoo says, still giggling a bit. “To be fair, after we got it fixed up from the drunk dye job, you pulled it off!”

Jeonghan doesn’t think he pulled it off, and he very much prefers his normal dark hair. 

And Jisoo laughs for a little while longer after he pulls up photos from the morning the older woke up with half a head of badly dyed blond hair. He giggles again then sets his phone down, looking back at Jeonghan. “Are you done yet?” Jeonghan says, rolling his eyes with fake annoyance; truthfully, he’s willing to be the basis of Jisoo’s jokes any day if it meant he would laugh like that.  
“I’m done, but if you get that drunk again, I’m never letting you live it down,” Jisoo says with a grin.

Jeonghan wouldn’t have it any other way.

~

The liquid in Jeonghan’s clear plastic cup is murky in the dim lighting; it was someone’s fantastic idea to string up lights in the living room and only keep the kitchen lights on, and now he can barely tell any of his friends apart. His drink makes his saliva feel thick like molasses, and his face scrunches up in disapproval. He feels the blaring music throughout the house shaking the floor, or maybe that’s his drink. He feels his chest vibrating and his head buzzes with adrenaline as his eyes sloppily scan the room again.

Mingyu is mixing some more liquids together in the kitchen, Seokmin and Soonyoung look like they’re incoherently screaming at each other--they don’t look they’re arguing though, they’re just loud, Jeonghan concludes. His eyes can’t really focus on the other figures in the room, but he knows a figure is missing.

Jisoo still isn’t here, he thinks, as he takes another distasteful sip.

“Jeonghan!”

He hears his name being called from somewhere, but quite frankly, his brain isn’t functioning optimally. He doesn’t seek out the voice, it sounds fuzzy and it’s already lost in the ocean of smothering sound pounding against the walls and his eardrums. He wants to go to the kitchen to refill his cup with something different; it’s probably this shitty drink that’s making him feel… shitty. 

He doesn’t, though, his legs feel like pudding and he wants to go home and take a four hour nap. He feels his head drifting to the side as he empties the tar that Mingyu mixed into his cup. His eyelids feel as heavy as cinder blocks as he feels the back of his head hit something soft.

“You look like trash.”

Jeonghan forces his eyes open and he’s staring at the bottom of Jisoo’s chin.

_Jisoo Jisoo Jisoo, my head is on his lap. This is Jisoo’s lap._

His brain is processing a million thoughts as once as he feels his heartbeat against his ears now, drowning out the terrible EDM mix that Seungcheol put on. He’s trying to come up with some witty insult to come back, but his chest feels so full and there are so many things he wants to say. 

“You’re here,” Jeonghan finally breathes out. 

“I didn’t think my shower would last that long,” Jisoo replies with a shrug. Jeonghan feels fingers combing through his hair. _They’re so delicate. He’s so delicate and soft and caring and--_

“Jisoo,” the older says. His throat felt so closed off earlier with that drink, but now his mouth feels like a waterfall of his own thoughts. “I like someone.”

“Do you now,” Jisoo says, more of a statement than question. “Have you told her yet?” And Jeonghan’s already closed his eyes so he can’t see Jisoo’s face because there’s this voice somewhere in his head. It’s a voice of doubt, of regret, the voice is telling him to _stopstopstop_ , but he doesn’t.

“I haven’t,” he starts. “I know he doesn’t feel the same, and I wish that would stop me. He makes me so happy all the time and I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t focus when I’m around him and I think he thinks I’m weird.” He opens his eyes and he sees Jisoo mutter something he can’t make out. His dark hair is illuminated by the string lights hanging around them and if he wasn’t so _wasted_ , he could see little dots of sparkly yellow in Jisoo’s eyes. 

He says something else before Jeonghan’s eyes close again, and Jeonghan falls asleep with the sight of Jisoo’s shining eyes in his head.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i haven't written anything in a hot minute, so apologies if this wasn't the best. also, this is my first kpop fic, so if anything is inaccurate, please let me know. kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, thank you so much for reading. this will be updated at least once a week(probably). :)
> 
> tumblr: ourdawnis  
> twitter: agirlcanhave


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